Firstly Happy New Year Guys and thank you for finding your way back to here!
If you follow me on Instagram or Youtube, you may already have seen my miraculous news; but here’s a special blog post going in depth about my life (because that’s what I do here) and the story behind my miracle pregnancy!
Get cosy, grab a cup of tea and let me begin!
My journey has not been alone; I’ve been very fortunate to have a very loving, patient and understanding husband by my side. And thankfully so, because it’s been a long, emotional and extremely testing journey, not just for me but for both of us. Andy has always been the person I turn to first, he’s not just my husband but my best friend and so any news I have to share is always shared with him first.
So, when for first time ever, a second line showed up on a pregnancy test (and not a very strong little line may I add), Andy was the person I ran towards to confirm and share in the moment. I had wanted so desperately to get pregnant for so long, that I needed instant reassurance that my brain or eyes had not tricked me and showed entirely what I wanted to see. I don’t think I even dared to breath from the second I seen the lines; crying I just stumbled downstairs trying my absolute hardest not to trip and fall.
So there I was, stood in the kitchen with every light possible on, handing hubby a wee soaked stick in the middle of the kitchen. We both hugged, could this really be happening?
“There is definitely two lines, one is faint – but it’s there” Andy explained looking at me, he then added “I think it’s probably best we try another test later”. I was so glad that Andy saw a second line as I had, but although I knew he was right, my heart sunk a little at the thought of allowing myself to get excited until we had done a few more tests.
You see, it was only one week earlier I’d believed in my heart of hearts, that this was it- I was pregnant. Only to then test negative. I’d felt lost if I’m completely honest, my three month window to conceive would be over by the end of October – and there I was days away from October’s period … testing negative near the very end of my short little window. To say I was deflated, doesn’t come close, and despite facing this battle month in month out, I knew my time of now or never was coming to an end… and this could be my very last chance to get pregnant naturally.
“You can test too early, and it would show a negative you know” was the wise words from a very wise friend. Ordinarily, I would never have taken another pregnancy test… but holding out more hope than ever before, it was those words of wisdom that had led to that later positive reading I mentioned above!
I waited a few hours after the first positive reading, drank a little and tried to not get ahead of myself. After sneaking away from Andy, I took another pregnancy test and turned it upside down as I waited for the results. What I was expecting and what I was hoping for battled around my head for those few minutes, and then it was the moment of truth. For the first time ever, there were two strong lines, my second positive pregnancy test and I had my first reliable positive pregnancy test! I couldn’t stop crying or shaking, this was really happening.
My first words to Andy were not as you may expect, but rather in my shocked state, that we need to go to the Asda … and like, now! I was trying not to cry, as I showed hubby the pregnancy test. We hugged, we cried happy tears, we hugged some more, all the while mesmerised by the positive reading.
To Asda we went, in search of some ClearBlue tests and our conversations of hope and possibility had never been stronger. There was so much joy in that evening.
Some more liquid later.
We both sat in the bathroom staring at the Clear Blue test waiting for a distinctive answer in writing, either Pregnant or Not Pregnant. We waited for what seemed like forever, but really wasn’t that long at all and the word we had longed to see appeared “pregnant”. Crying, shaking, speechless we did another test, this time to see roughly how far along in pregnancy I was. The test did it’s magic and came back to confirm that we were approximately 4 weeks pregnant and it’s safe to say I sobbed and sobbed (AGAIN!). After years of only ever seeing negative after negative pregnancy test, to find out there is a tiny baby inside of you – I can’t express the joy, the love and the endless gratitude in that moment and forever onwards.
The conversations we both the had that night, were conversations like never before – cautious conversations but we allowed ourselves to dream a little further that we had done previously.
The next day I retested whilst Andy was at work, and the test came back as approximately 5 weeks pregnant… so it wasn’t all a dream, as every there occasion had been before.
Now I’m in my second trimester, both Andy and I still feel like the most blessed people ever! We are cautious and scared, but more overjoyed than I ever thought could be possible! I can now safely say with great certainty that for me, pregnancy has not helped with my Endo pains (minus the whole not having periods thing! I can safely say I do not miss periods!!), but I am super thankful for my latest excision surgery performed only at the end of July 2020. That was the magic surgery that led to our miracle Endo baby, so much so that my surgeon was sent a thank you card for helping in our journey.
Our little miracle is already so very loved, and the messages have come in far and wide of shared joy in our news.
This has been one of my hardest but most worthwhile journeys to date, and despite all that has been 2020 – I am so thankful for the path it took me down, and the opportunities that then presented themselves.
Check out my latest video below if you want to see part of my Endometriosis journey into pregnancy & the moment we found out after using the ClearBlue tests.
I’ll be positing more frequently again for now- I have four month of pregnancy to catch you guys up on.
Thanks for making it to the end,
Speak soon – Nat xox
(P.S follow my journey over on Instagram!)
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